seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
