yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
