Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize