just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize