absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
