First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
