so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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