found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize