I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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