I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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