Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
operation harelip BJ is a go
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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