she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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