There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
