did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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