I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
