I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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