And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Randomize
