My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
