I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
