why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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