im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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