my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize