You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
