Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize