I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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