For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize