your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
