i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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