Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
