dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
