whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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