you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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