He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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