Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
