If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
