im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize