If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
