I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
