oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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