Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
