Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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