Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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