I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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