WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
