Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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