nut hugger
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
