He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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