i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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