Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
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you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
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When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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