I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
