my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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