fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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