When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
