I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
