I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
