I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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