So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
why do cheetos always look like penises
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
