pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
