God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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