OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
