so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize