i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
